Where are all the R.E.A.L. M.E.N.?

LOOK NO FURTHER, HERE THEY ARE! — The R.E.A.L. M.E.N. meetings every Thursday from 7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. at the Generation Life Office are spearheaded by Tony Luna (far left), Damian Wargo (next to Tony) and Mark Houck (front center). (Photo courtesy of Dorian Kernytsky)

By Erin Maguire
Special to The CS&T

“Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy. Act in me, O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy. Draw my heart, O Holy Spirit that I love but what is holy. Strengthen me, O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy. Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy. Amen.”

This prayer, called “St. Augustine’s Prayer to the Holy Spirit,” was an inspiration to three men who initiated a men’s group called REAL MEN last summer. Saint Augustine, known for his struggles with chastity serves as a role model and patron saint for the organization.
“Each man in the REAL MEN group is striving to grow in holiness,” said Mark Houck, one of the founders. “This prayer seemed to speak to all of our hearts at the time [the group was started].”
REAL MEN, an acronym for Renewing Each man through Accountability, Love, Motivation, Education and Networking, was formed in July last year by Houck, Tony Luna and Damian Wargo.
It was started as a response for a need for support and community, in living a chaste life. According to its mission statement, “The mission of REAL MEN is to support one another in living a more chaste life according to God’s plan for male sexuality.”
Although the organization was born officially in July, ideas for a men’s group were already spinning in the spring. Luna and Wargo worked with Father Paul Dressler, priest in residence at St. John the Evangelist in Center City, to began their ministry.
Together, they organized a Men’s Day of Recollection last spring. The day focused on “the common struggle for guys when it comes to living a more chaste and pure life according to God’s plan for male sexuality,” Luna said.
The day of recollection incorporated teachings from the “Theology of the Body,” by Christopher West (which is based on homilies by Pope John Paul II) and personal testimonies by Luna, Wargo and Father Paul Dressler.
The three discussed the “triumphs and tribulations of leading a life that is pleasing to God as guys, rather than one focused on lust, sex, etc., dictated to us first as young boys, later as teens and now as young adults by the forces at play — especially in the Hollywood, pop-culture media world,” Luna said.
After their talks, many men approached the speakers, sharing similar stories. “We knew we had hit a nerve and wanted to ‘extend the fire’ that started burning in the guys’ hearts that day,” Luna said. He and Wargo spent the next two months thinking and talking about how they could “follow up, and keep the support and accountability going.”
The two attended a talk by Christopher West at a Theology on Tap forum over the summer, where they met Mark Houck. The ingredients were there — the only thing still necessary was the Holy Spirit to stir things up.
“The three of us got to talking and we agreed that with what Damian and I started and with Mark’s insight, we were being moved to start a new program that brought guys together to ‘put the cards on the table’ and get REAL about our struggle and our successes in living a more chaste, holy life and using our sexuality to please God,” Luna said. “The program was born, as all things are, with God’s grace and the hand of the Holy Spirit.”
While REAL MEN is an original group, its founders borrowed ideas and obtained information from other organizations and resources, Houck said. “Our group has taken a lot of ideas from Protestant groups, and information from videos like ‘Every Young Man’s Battle.’”
They also use resources provided by Luminous Media, books donated by Matthew Kelly to Generation Life, Steve Wood’s “Breaking Free: 12 Steps to Sexual Purity for Men,” and LIFE (Living in Freedom Everyday). But most importantly, Houck said, “We have taken our own experiences in the Charismatic Renewal, young adult and youth ministries to serve as our foundation.”
To date, the group has nine men who actively participate in the meetings held from 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Thursdays at the Generation Life office at 88 Pennsylvania Avenue in Oreland. All men — single, married and religious — over the age of 11 are welcome to join.
Houck said 11 is the minimum age because studies show that pornography comes into a young man’s life on average at this age.
“We are not going to be necessarily promoting [REAL MEN] to young men this age,” Houck said. “But if there is a father who wants to bring his son to our group, this would be where we would draw the line.”
Wargo said the men in the group “have really challenged me to be more open to God’s plan for me.”
He added that the organization “has allowed me to make lasting friendships with men of faith [and] has provided me with the opportunity to discuss and pray about chastity with other men. … REAL MEN is needed to combat the culture of death.... specifically, as we educate and activate men to stand up for true love and life.”
While the group has a Catholic focus, it is open to all denominations. “I joined, or helped to form, this group because I was looking for accountability in my life,” Houck said. “Our Protestant brothers and sisters do a great job in this area, and I think as Catholics we could learn a lot from them. Although our group is not only for Catholics, we definitely have a Catholic focus — Mass, holy rosary, eucharistic adoration, reconciliation.”
To accomplish its goal —  “to untwist the lies we have been told during our youth and young adult lives, and renew our bodies physically and spiritually” — REAL MEN ascertained certain objectives.
According to its mission statement, the men in the organization “accomplish our goal through accountability, prayer, fellowship with one another, fasting and through frequent reception of the sacrament of reconciliation and Holy Eucharist.”
The men hold each other accountable at the meetings, Houck said, “For instance, if a group member has shared that they struggle with pornography, then a question such as ‘Did you look at pornography today or this week?’ would be asked.”
Luna added that the men are encouraged to “share honestly and openly as Christian brothers where we are on our journey to be more chaste … [and] share any other reading or insights, and wisdom we have learned in our journeys.”
In addition, Houck said, “We try to go as a group once a month to Mass. In theory, we will travel to each member’s parish over the course of the year.”
The men in the group also participate in social events, such as gathering to watch the New Year’s Day football games. They hope to organize retreats in the future.
The group also aspires to bring in speakers such as West, and Matt Pinto of Ascension Press. In the meantime, they look to leaders within the group, such as Chaplain Father Larry Kozak for what Houck describes as “solid catechesis.”
At the end of each meeting, the men close with prayer.
“Usually [we] ask God to renew us as guys, and help us to live daily lives pleasing to Him in all aspects,” Luna said, “but especially as it relates to using our God-given male sexuality in all ways that please him.”
For more information contact:
Mark Houck at 215-885-4668 (mhouck@generationalife.org),
Damian Wargo at 215-906-8878 (damianwargo@runbox.com), or Tony
Luna at cellaluna@yahoo.com.

Erin Maguire was the 2003 recipient of The Catholic Standard & Times journalism scholarship. She is a sophomore at DeSales University in Center Valley, Pa.